in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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