Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
