i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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