ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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