5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
