we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
