In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
