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I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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