OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
