I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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