you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
