you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
