and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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