i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
