Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
