Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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