I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
