Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
