Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
