? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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