They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
