I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
