No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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