Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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