we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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