Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
