Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Randomize
