You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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