She's JV to your varsity
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
