I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
