My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
