I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Dicks are not precious.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
