words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
