i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
