I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Randomize
