You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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