brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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