Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
