My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
either way he was missing a nipple.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
FUCK WHALES
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
