woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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