Your mouth is God's brothel.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
