I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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