Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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