DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
