More tranny stories later!
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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