just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I got inside last night via doggy door
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
