Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
