oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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