i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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