I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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