i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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