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Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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