this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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