It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
